If you are anything like myself - going to the club is probably your mortal enemy.
If I am expected to go to the club, you can bet I WILL become mysteriously ill, have a family emergency or "forget something at home, BRB" and just never show up to said party/club.
For many people with anxiety they find themselves drinking (probably too much/ too fast) in situations where they are uncomfortable. I know I wasn't even out of the "bathroom selfie" stage with the other girls before I had a cold one in my hand making my significant other PROMISE me that we did not have to go to the club. The air of excitement quickly vanished from my lungs once someone mentioned "...the club afterwards." and full blown panic sets in.
Poor Timothy is swearing up and down and staring me down at the same time, so I know hes serious and won't make me go out and that he understands and will get me out as soon as I need to.
*Lucky for me I have an amazing Timothy whom understands my anxiety and does everything he can to make me comfortable. Like be the designated driver because he knows as soon as I hit that pub 2 double Caesars on their way to me.
I want you to be aware that everybody has their own boundaries. And I would like to remind you that if your friend is not comfortable in a situation- it's not your job to force them to try and get them out of their shell. Your friend with anxiety is in flight or flight mode most likely- and they will know what feels good for them or not.
Two Caesars a couple shots later and right on cue there is a phone call from my mother saying that my aunt is in labor. ( Nobody needs to know shes 57)
*If you have a friend with anxiety, I urge you to remember their comfort level. If you are unsure- ASK THEM! Ask them open ended questions. BAD: "Hey you're okay if we go to the club after this, right?" or invite them! "Were going to the club after dinner, if you want to go, if not that's okay too."
If you are a friend with anxiety- give them a way out that keeps their dignity. If you do have anxiety- Remember to make smart decisions that keep you safe and protects your boundaries. Please don't drink in excess in order to cope with anxiety.
Check out your local support groups! Lots of times there are local pages on Facebook of meet ups in the community with people who struggle, this may be a good way to get out and be understood.
The point is- I had a GREAT time. I got to do the get ready thing with my girlfriends, I got to have a good night with everybody and just hang out. Best of all Tim got me to Wal-Mart in time to pick up ice cream and watch Rocky Horror Picture Show with me and sing out guts out.
I had fun because I was in charge of my surroundings and my boundaries- and my other friends had a great time too because I wasn't miserable upset in the corner, nor was I way out of hand drunk as a way of trying to cope with my anxiety. Everybody played to their strengths and everybody won at the end of the night.
We looked great- We had a great time and my friend had a wonderful birthday.
And of course we all looked fabulous in our lipstick .
"If lots more of us loved each other, We'd solve lots more problems."