The urge to film and the noise of it all.

My mind as been absolutely racing lately. I see this community that I am so deeply ingrained in, and I want to jump in. I have a passion and it motivates me. Some see it as superficial and a waste of time- but I'll tell you I have made so many connections and friendships. More so than I have in my regular life. There is now a sense of pride and community where once dwells insecurity and loneliness.  

I have put blood, sweat, tears and a money into this. My videos look like shit, I stutter, I can't focus, I know shit all about editing. 

I have the support from my friends and my partner. I have a premise and the personality and the determination. 

But fuck if I ain't already recalculating this. I am having such a hard time with the learning of it all. 

I want to continue and I want to go forward and I want to make things work with what I have. I compare myself to others and I see what I need and what I don't need. But in my head I am convinced I need to have more things to make the final content that I am used to seeing. 

Just putting this out into the void. I needed to vent more. I am having an awful time.

I just want to be a fucking You Tuber.  I just wan't to make funny videos about makeup. I just want to inspire people how others inspire me. 

Youtube needs more Indigenous ladies anyways. 

The shape shifter (Short & sweet)

Anxiety is tricky beast- this beast happens to be a shape shifter.

It snares it's long fangs and some go running, some freeze, some fight and end up fighting to their demise. The lucky few tame the beast and end up looking the damn demi-gods to the rest of us. 

  What I'm trying to say here is that anxiety is very good at meaning many different things to many people. 

Sometimes we want to be shape shifters. That dream to crawl out of our own skin and to be someone else. So we step out of the comfort of our everyday norm, we put on a fierce new outfit or a great new shade of lipstick, or maybe trying out that new cat eye.
Alright so your feeling good, looking good, empowered that you have TAKEN BACK yourself and oh hell yeah, you are going to OWN this.
And then you're in public. "Oh good God NO, why are they staring at me?" and dozens of other variations of that will eat away at your soul. Look, nothing I say is going to change how you perceive others. That is something you have to sort out on your own, on your own schedule with your own boundaries.
But- I do encourage you to not give a shit. I encourage you to OWN that personal style be whom you are. Be your own Demi-God.

Your own self worth IS NOT determined by others. How others perceive you had nothing to do with how amazing you actually are. I promise you that. No matter what you identify as, you are the most perfect version of yourself.
She's gonna be a long hard road- but it'll be worth it.

"If lots more of us loved each other, We'd solve lots more problems,"
- Anxiety&Lipstick <3 

Drinking anxiety away.

If you are anything like myself - going to the club is probably your mortal enemy.
If I am expected to go to the club, you can bet I WILL become mysteriously ill, have a family emergency or "forget something at home, BRB" and just never show up to said party/club.

For many people with anxiety they find themselves drinking (probably too much/ too fast) in situations where they are uncomfortable. I know I wasn't even out of the "bathroom selfie" stage with the other girls before I had a cold one in my hand making my significant other PROMISE me that we did not have to go to the club. The air of excitement quickly vanished from my lungs once someone mentioned "...the club afterwards." and full blown panic sets in.
Poor Timothy is swearing up and down and staring me down at the same time, so I know hes serious and won't make me go out and that he understands and will get me out as soon as I need to.

*Lucky for me I have an amazing Timothy whom understands my anxiety and does everything he can to make me comfortable. Like be the designated driver because he knows as soon as I hit that pub 2 double Caesars on their way to me.

I want you to be aware that everybody has their own boundaries. And I would like to remind you that if your friend is not comfortable in a situation- it's not your job to force them to try and get them out of their shell. Your friend with anxiety is in flight or flight mode most likely- and they will know what feels good for them or not.

Two Caesars a couple shots later and right on cue there is a phone call from my mother saying that my aunt is in labor. ( Nobody needs to know shes 57)

*If you have a friend with anxiety, I urge you to remember their comfort level. If you are unsure- ASK THEM! Ask them open ended questions. BAD: "Hey you're okay if we go to the club after this, right?" or invite them! "Were going to the club after dinner, if you want to go, if not that's okay too."

If you are a friend with anxiety- give them a way out that keeps their dignity. If you do have anxiety- Remember to make smart decisions that keep you safe and protects your boundaries. Please don't drink in excess in order to cope with anxiety.
Check out your local support groups! Lots of times there are local pages on Facebook of meet ups in the community with people who struggle, this may be a good way to get out and be understood.


The point is- I had a GREAT time. I got to do the get ready thing with my girlfriends, I got to have a good night with everybody and just hang out. Best of all Tim got me to Wal-Mart in time to pick up ice cream and watch Rocky Horror Picture Show with me and sing out guts out.
I had fun because I was in charge of my surroundings and my boundaries- and my other friends had a great time too because I wasn't miserable upset in the corner, nor was I way out of hand drunk as a way of trying to cope with my anxiety. Everybody played to their strengths and everybody won at the end of the night.

We looked great- We had a great time and my friend had a wonderful birthday.
And of course we all looked fabulous in our lipstick .


"If lots more of us loved each other, We'd solve lots more problems."
 - Anxiety&Lipstick<3

Step one- into the beginning.

To anyone in need of a helping hand; current or otherwise.

My intentions here are humble and honest.
 Here I would like to combine my two worlds, Mental health and makeup. As a person who works in mental health and addictions and personally struggles with general anxiety I was hard pressed to find a form of self care that I actually enjoyed and not felt like doing it was a chore. I am not a runner, nor do I do yoga on the regular.
Make up fits all.
 Makeup doesn't care what size you are, or how you are feeling that day. Makeup acts as a form of expression for many of us.

 For myself, lipstick has always been a point of confidence. A power supply if you will.
   Welcome to Anxiety&Lipstick <3  Here we discuss makeup and mental health.

Turns out that makeup and nail art are my two passions in life, besides my job. I wanted to have a constructive outlet to put my thoughts down and to have a platform to reach out.

Okay so enough of that. I figure you might want to get to know me a little bit..
I am Natasha, I will not tell you what I do for a living as it is confidential.

I am Canadian First Nations woman (Haida)
I live my life with daily anxiety.
Currently, I am 24 years old and absolutely obsessed with anything Disney, Bowie, raccoons and peaches.

I have combo-oily skin with red undertones - for future reference.


All genders, sizes, skin tones, preferences, ages, ethnicity, marital status, pro-pineapple pizza people welcome =) This is safe space.  


"If lots more of us loved each other, we'd solve lots more problems."
- Anxiety and lipstick <3